I find myself a little stunned to realize that it’s Halloween already and we’ve come to the end of Octoberguest!. I’ve had so much fun this month and am very grateful to all of the wonderful writers who so generously contributed their work to the Handbasket. And I’d also like to thank everyone who took the time to comment on the posts–or to simply read them. Without you all, well, it just isn’t any fun!
My last guest, El Pollo Diablo, was my toughest to get. He resides on the “other side,” and communication between here and there is complicated. He’s been on a hiatus of sorts since I last corresponded with him on Myspace, where he’s greatly missed. I’m hoping he’ll drop in to comment today on any questions you might have, but his internet connection is sketchy and I can’t make any promises…
I’m so excited to have you here, EPD. Welcome!
The Dead Love Halloween by El Pollo Diablo
Being a member of the silent majority, I has a special fondnesses for Halloween. And by silent majority, I means those of us that is dead. And there is a lot of us. Fortunately, spirits does not take up much spaces, so real estate issues is basically non-existent for us. Which is a good thing in this market of bearishness. But I digresses.
I loves Halloween. Halloween is superior to all other holidays. Fouth of Julyings and the Russian May Day paradings is mere child’s play compared to the raw pagan rambunctiousness that is All Hallows’ Eve. No fireworks or orderly rows of ICBMs rolling down Red Square holds candles to joyful children beating the hell out of a skeleton piñata, or tricking old people out of the sweets that they has spent their hard-earned Social Security benefits on.
I recalls the Halloween of 1819 when Thomas Jefferson went to John Adam’s house dressed as King George III in a straight jacket. Upon Jefferson’s demand of a treat, Adams promptly punched him in the nose, crying “Sic semper evello mortem Tyrannis!”
Admiring Adams’ pluck, Jefferson good-naturedly kicked him in the knee then proceeded to present him with several head-buts to the nose.
What a pal.
Now those was the days when Halloween was fun, and politics was civilized.
One of the greatest political figures to advocates Halloween was President Dwight Eisenhower. Even back in his early Army days, he was known to be quite the scamp when October 31 would come rollings around. As General George Mosely’s executive officer in the early 1930’s, Eisenhower would often apply shoe polish to eyepieces of binoculars when he was denied his requested treats.
“Take THAT MacArthur!” he was heard to proclaims, as he rode out of sight. “Happy All Hallows Eve, and to all a good night!”
And in his farewell address on January 17, 1961 he spake to all Americans:
“So – in this my last good night to you as your President – I thank you for the many opportunities you have given me for public service in war and peace. I trust that in that service you find some things worthy; as for the rest of it, I know you will find ways to improve performance in the future, as long as you keep Halloween in your heart and cherish it always.”
Even amongst the dead, it is hard to find a greater advocate for Halloween than Dwight David Eisenhower.
Excepting maybe for Martin Luther. Now, HE loved Halloween so much that he called the Catholic Church out on it.
Thesis 96: Halloween rocks! Dig it.
During his appearance at the Diet of Worms, Luther protested that there must also be a Diet of Brains, and a Diet of Slimy Eyeballs, which was directly responsible for the abundance of cold spaghetti and peeled grapes in modern day recreational haunted housings.
As for us dead peoples, ghosts like me owes Laura Benedict much gratitudes for allowing our love of Halloween to be made known on this most auspicious of days.
Thank you Laura.
I miss you, EPD! Thanks so much for coming by–stay safe. I know things are pretty raucous over there today!
[Everyone has today and tomorrow to comment to win books, books, books, and those Godiva and Harry and David giftbaskets! I’ll announce the winners on Monday.]
Tomorrow: It’s November! After all the excitement of Octoberguest! and Halloween, I expect I’ll need a nap…But on Sunday, Kyle Minor will be here. See you then!