Scary. Wild. Funny. Definitely over-the-top in the best way! That’s the only way to describe Mario Acevedo’s work. Mario writes the Felix Gomez vampire-detective series for Eos HarperCollins: The Nymphos of Rocky Flats, X-Rated Blood Suckers, and his latest novel The Undead Kama Sutra. I knew he’d be perfect to get us ready for the Halloween season here at the Handbasket! Stay tuned this March for his next novel Jailbait Zombie.
This is Mario’s busy season, so he wants to make sure that the goodies he’s brought to the Handbasket–a signed Advance Reader’s Copy of one of his novels and a Devil Duck!–get snapped up this week. Anyone who comments on his post between now and end-of-day Saturday is eligible!
It’s October and since I write vampire stories, I get swamped with requests for articles. It would be easy enough except for one huge reason. My vampire doesn’t cooperate. He hates Halloween.
You would think that being surrounded by fans in vampire costumes is an ego boost. Not true. To my vampire, seeing all those weirdos in cheesy capes and fake fangs would be like Paul Robeson attending an Amos and Andy show with the actors in black face. It’s not camp, it’s insulting.
What about Santa Claus at Christmas? I asked my vampire. There are thousands of Santa imposters and I’ve yet to hear one peep of protest from the North Pole.
Whole different holiday, my vampire answered. Santa doesn’t mind ‘cause he needs the help. It’s his busiest season what with overtime for the elves, inventory snafus, stuff getting held up in Customs, and he’s still supposed to have kids sit on his lap at the mall? If it was me, of course I’d love a regiment of helpers.
But Halloween ain’t that at all. Sure, these costumed freaks make it easier for me to blend in but I get around anyway. What I resent is going out and being mistaken for a pretend bloodsucker. I didn’t lose my soul for nothing.
What’s with the Goth folks? I’d kill to get my tan back and these pasty-faced wanna-be’s actually cultivate a corpse in a tomb complexion.
And then there’s the fake “blood” punch. Plus the “blood” enchiladas. And the “type-A” marinara sauce. Don’t bring up “Bloody” Mary’s. Since when did we vampires stop drinking real booze? What’s the point of being immortal if you can’t get tight now and again?
One thing that really sticks in my craw are zombies. Really, try getting a zombie out of your craw. They’re all gummy and nasty-tasting. Unfortunately, zombies are all the rage now. Why, I don’t know. They smell like Dumpsters and leave pus on the furniture. I can’t tell you how many times I’ve been to a cocktail party and guests start to haggle over the difference between zombies and vampires. Sure, we’re both undead but the similarities end there. We vampires are cool. We’re good company. We can control our appetites. I don’t know how many dinners I’ve seen ruined by zombies lunging over the table and snacking on the host’s brains. I mean right there. At the table. How rude.
Plus, we vampires are sexy. Everyone knows that. (Except for one particular barrista who won’t return my calls or texts.)
Have an awesome October.
Thanks for coming by, Mario!
Stop by tomorrow to meet poet and uber-blogger Michelle Brooks!
(If you comment on Mario’s blog, you’ll also be eligible for the end-of-month prizes: $100 Godiva and Harry&David giftbaskets and more books!)
13 thoughts on “Octoberguest! Mario Acevedo”
Vampires, zombies, and Santa Claus…oh, my! You are my kind of writer, Mr. Acevedo. Can’t wait to check out your books. Jailbait Zombie is just about the best title ever.
Q: Why do literary agents love zombie novels?
Any novel with a title like The Undead Kama Sutra, I gotta read! (and Jailbait Zombie! oh man!!)
Thanks Laura for introducing me to what looks like a great book!
Now I can’t help but wonder what holiday does get vampires jolly and excited since they hate Halloween. President’s Day maybe? They get to brag about how many presidents they (un)lived through, discuss why they tried to campaign against Grover Cleveland, etc.
Mario, your character just made me smile big time. I will definitely be reading this one…and the next one…Zombie fiction rules(I just read World War Z…wonderfully frightening, I highly recommend it if you haven’t read it yet).
Another weird synchronicity (I mentioned one in my comment to Allison below…only this time I spelled it right), I picked up the book “How I got Published” and your essay was the first one I read…and I thought, if he can write about Nymphos and get published, I can write about ________ (fill in the blank, it’s changed many times). Thank you for sharing that…to write about the craziest thing you can think of…very inspiring and encouraging…and liberating.
Thanks, Laura, for doing this.
I think Mario should get an award for his titles alone–I agree that Jailbait Zombie is fabulous!
Marni, you would love Mario’s books. And I am probably the only horror writer on the planet who hasn’t read World War Z yet!
Does anyone else here think Mario’s vampire would like–wait for it–Fangsgiving?!
Okay, I’m dying here. I’m loving this guy! Mario, excellent points all. I’m getting the Undead book. Anything undead is fine with me.
I know Mario’s going to sic a Devil Duck on me now!
Welcome, Michelle–tomorrow’s Octoberguest!
Mario, you crack me up. How did you get the Army to let you fly attack helicopters?
A vampire’s favorite holiday?
What else? Valentine’s Day. All the bad feelings, regrets, hearts broken, and hearts you want to tear out. What fun!
Fangsgiving is a good idea, though.
Thanks much for your posts.
I’m a sucker for a vampire with a sense of humor.
Laura, if you ever read World War Z…well, even if you don’t ever…they have a website for the book and you can calculate your chances of survival in the event of a Zombie war. My chances are about 32%. If I get a bicycle it goes up 1 %…I’m getting a bike. 🙂
I think I did take that test back when P was teaching the book–I got around 65%. I think he got 90% or something!