This day, New Year’s Day, couldn’t have been more filled with signs and portents if I had scripted it.
Just before dawn, I dreamed that my Grandma Clara–who was born in 1916 and died when I was in high school–was alive. In the dream my mother and I went to a kind of funeral visitation for her, but I was confused about being there, because I was an adult and she had been dead many years. We were close upon the viewing casket (which was open on the sides, and had a light canopy over it), so I couldn’t see much of the room. But everything I could see was cast in a soft blue light. Even the heavily banked flowers–white carnations–looked blue. We were upset, but my grandmother looked peaceful, as though she were truly just asleep. As I watched her, her eyes opened. Though I wasn’t sure what was happening, I wasn’t at all afraid. She didn’t look at me. She simply looked around her, confused, and a little worried. Then when she started to sit up, a few people cried out, but then everyone rushed to help her. I woke as she was helped down off of the bier.
I’m not much into dream interpretation, but I had to look up the symbols for this one. Most of the descriptions I found say that a loved one returning to life in a dream is a very positive symbol of coming changes, but others say it’s a sign that something bad will soon happen. It was particularly striking that she came to life before my eyes–that seems significant to me. I think I’ll take it as a good sign. The white carnations are interesting. They primarily represent friendship and unselfishness–and my grandmother was one of the least selfish people I’ve ever known. But the blue cast over everything was troubling. If I have to choose a favorite color, I usually pick blue, so it didn’t seem so bad. There are several choices out there for interpretation, but I like the one that says blue is a sign of optimism, loyalty, serenity, and creativity.
Hopeful conclusion: The creative and life changes I’m making are good ones, symbolized by my lovely, unselfish, hardworking grandmother.
We live on twelve acres that’s mostly wooded, and rich with wildlife. This morning, as I was out with the dogs, I saw a red-tailed hawk rise from the ditch near the road with a black creature about a third of the size of the hawk itself in its claws. There were no screams or cries from either of them. The silence was almost as alarming as seeing the capture. I watched as the hawk flew across the pond and into the woods, but before it disappeared, a second hawk landed in the tree nearest to the road. I knew that we had more than one hawk living in our woods, but I’d never seen them hunt together. On seeing the second one, I hurried to the road, hoping that that the first hawk hadn’t carried off an abandoned kitten, leaving the second hawk to snatch another. (The ditches around our property cough up kittens of all sorts.) But there was no sign of kittens anywhere.
I love that we are surrounded by birds of prey, including owls, as well as hawks, and seeing the hawks today seemed particularly propitious. Hawks are known as messengers of the gods, or God. They bring wisdom, courage, and truth–and reminders to be observant. And apparently red-tailed hawks do sometimes hunt in pairs. What, I wonder, did it mean that I saw the hawk take off with its prey? I think it’s interesting that I saw both that, and the moment my grandmother awoke from death.
Conclusion: Sustenance, zeroing in on the specific after looking at the big picture. Working with others, enjoying the support of others. All good things.
If I were an ancient Roman, these signs might have me freaked out. But I like them a lot.
January 1 Numbers
Journal: 515 words
Long Fiction: 358 words
Short Fiction: 0 words
Non-Fiction: 0 words
Exercise: 45 minutes, walking outside with dogs