I Was Pondering How To Sell Books–But Then I Got Distracted

I know this is old news, but book marketing plans have been on my mind lately. Here’s a tried and true one: get the most photographed woman on the planet to pick up your anti-human tirade/recycling guide-disguised-as-a-diet book in front of the paparazzi!
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It’s every publisher’s dream, of course. I confess that I was in a B&N soon after I saw this photo and felt compelled to see what Posh was all excited about. I mean, I’ve always wanted to be a skinny bitch. (All ex-husbands be quiet!) Now, I’m all for loving the planet and eating more veggies, but the best thing about the book was definitely its terrifically hip cover–but that’s neither here nor there.

So, yes, I’m addicted to Page Six and occasionally find myself lingering at Gawker.com before I get to work of a morning. But I don’t usually post about celebrity stuff.

Then I ran across this picture of Victoria Beckham. Does she or does she not look like she’s about to be attacked and eaten by the alien creature sewn to her breasts?!

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About twenty times on last season’s Project Runway, contestants invoked her name (she was even a judge) and people keep referring to her as a “style icon.” I’m sorry. I just don’t see it.

Here’s what she wears to little Royston’s soccer practice.

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And she seems to like fluttery, feathery things.

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One has to admire her chutzpah at wearing a bathrobe to Project Runway! (I’m just going to have to pretend I didn’t notice Heidi’s YELLOW PUMPS.)

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Colorforms are fun!!!!!

To be fair, there really are moments when she shows terribly good taste–


[Photo source. At least Mr. Blackwell agrees.]

Oh, wait!
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And because I have watched many seasons of America’s Next Top Model, I know that this is an editorial magazine shot–not an actual shopping-on-Rodeo-Drive ensemble. But do you think Marc Jacobs was mad at her that day?

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Do you think this will ruin my chances of Mrs. Beckham picking up one of my books? And, oh, the Mrs. part reminds me….

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Now, wasn’t that worth scrolling down for?

3 thoughts on “I Was Pondering How To Sell Books–But Then I Got Distracted”

  1. Yeah, David B is always worth it! And I agree with you about Skinny Bitch — totally stupid if you ask me, not that I have an opinion or anything. I am SO sick of diet books of any kind except my favorite, Satan Wants Me Fat which just says you need to rebuke Satan when you want to eat french fries which is about as much effort as I can put into it these days. And I loathe how the anti-meat movement uses women in their ads — the worst offender was PETA who had a woman on a subway clubbed to death and skinned and compared it to wearing a fur coat. I’m totally fine with people supporting animals and not wearing fur, but I find such tactics completely offensive and now I’m going to go eat a porkchop unless I can figure out a way to tell Satan that I don’t want one. 🙂

  2. Larramie says:

    What fun. Thank you for the laughs!

  3. Definitely worth the scroll. One of my friends was reading that Skinny book on a plane and said it was ridiculous, but amusing. Victoria Beckham sometimes exhibits terrible taste – at other times she’s quite elegant. But I appreciate her sense of humour and ability to laugh at herself.

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